Header Boy

Header Boy is the boy on the header of the Cawwwwmic website. He is also the head boy, the boy ahead. Heads up, this hard-headed boy is headed nowhere but up, and he's certainly up to something, ready to explore some real hard-hitting, heady topics.

The Dank Tournament Timeline
Header Boy has always been ahead, ahead of the trends, ahead of the game, ahead of it all, at the very top. He was up there at that top dabbing for Jesus and making a name for himself.

It was the CUNK that kindled the fire in his heart for dabbing for Jesus when he was but a much younger head boy.

Then Chud had to go and kill the CUNK, drastically reducing the effectiveness of all dab-related endeavors.

He entered The Dank Tournament because something had to be done about this.

He had to do something for dabbing, for Jesus.

Tragically, he lost his first match against Matchbox 21, after revealing several of his dab techniques, which were all unable to penetrate the indifference of that expressionless goldfish. Though he got one clean hit in, it was the only one he could muster because of how difficult it became to channel the energy of the God and Devil particles without the CUNK. Burnt to a crisp, his only option left was to use his ultimate technique, timaeusCrucified, restoring his body but stopping his heart....... for now???

Thirteen years after the events of The Dank Tournament, he finally found himself able to do something, something drastic. He killed Anthony, and took the Jesus Brand Dab Machine for himself.

The Dabbing for Jesus Timeline
He used the time machine to travel to before Chud ever killed the CUNK, and then he shot Chud Thuck Kankle, creating a new timeline where he could never kill the CUNK. After throwing Chud's lifeless corpse into the sun, Header Boy returned to the future (in the new timeline he created) to find only desolation, ruin, and an endless sea of sand.

Later, he awoke to a stranger in a dark, purple room.

Character Page Bio
Act 1: He dabs 4 Jesus.

Act 2: He still dabs 4 Jesus.

Quotes
"Tch... dabbing... It's been 13 years... 13 years since anyone's dabbed... 4 Jesus..."

"I did what had to be done.... 4 Jesus."

"I'm sorry, Jesus..."